time spent looking

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Weeelllll….it’s been a minute. But here I am. Back to do this thing. Back “home.”

More on that in a bit…

This will not be a long post, mercifully. It’s meant more just to reintroduce the blog to the world and the world to the blog. (hello, World.)

Quite a few things have happened since the last time I posted. I’ve graduated from my 300 hour yoga teacher training and I’ve become certified to teach Mindfulness, in addition to a few other pursuits here and there. I bring this up because you will likely see those journeys reflected in my writing style now. At least I certainly hope so.

I have experienced what feels like a deep soul transformation, in no small part due to the above mentioned events. The feedback I have received from others validates my inner awareness that something major has shifted.

At some point, I will likely take a deeper dive in another post related to the journey with Mindfulness in particular, but for now suffice it to say that it has all been very life changing.  Game changing, even.

A lot of time has passed. It has been over two years. And yet it has been lifetimes ago.

The person I was on March 20th, 2017 and the person I am today are both the same and wildly different. There have been times over the past two and half years that I have felt pressure and guilt and regret for not writing more often and more consistently. That has come from inside myself and also from external entities. These were always well-meaning, so nothing but love for that “pressure.”  (you know who you are.)

The truth is, most writers kind of need a little pressure sometimes. We are an odd lot. We both love writing and hate it. As the novelist Frank Norris said, “Don’t like to write, but like having written.” *

I couldn’t agree more.  Writing is kind of like giving birth. You’re glad you did it, but you’d never do it for fun and you don’t necessarily look forward to the next time either.

Obviously, there are exceptions, but most writers I know speak of feeling similarly.

It can help to focus on the outcome, but for me, the writing is the outcome. Everyone has their own process. Some have a map and directions and know where they are headed. That’s not me.

This blog has been a way of seeking for me. I have always kind of wandered my way to my own self-realizations through writing and I suspect that part won’t be much different now.  Sometimes it’s a direct shot and others a meandering path or a dance of sorts.

I like to take the guidance of one who has gone before me and knows the way, such as Rumi, and I then sense my own way to the same or similar places.

As I said before, much has changed and you will likely see that reflected here. I will not call myself “awakened” but I will say that a type of awakening has certainly occurred. It tends to happen in stages, I am told. Let me add a brief note about the concept of awakening.  It’s not a destination.  It’s a process and an unfixed state, like happiness or sadness.  Sometimes we are awakened and other times we are not.  There are those who have found a way to sustain it for long periods, but frankly, most of them live on the side of a mountain and avoid people entirely. I’m pretty sure most of us could maintain it under those conditions. 😉

There is no going back tho once you have experienced any degree of awakening, as some of you already know.  To whatever degree we experience, that will always be our foundation from that point forward.

A better word for awakening might be awarening, which is not a word.  To awaken is more to become aware.  We become aware of many, many things that previously escaped our notice.  This can include both positive and negative, light and dark.  Thus, the discomfort associated with the process and why more people do not choose to do it.

As a result, my future posts will sometimes be light and airy (promise) and sometimes very heavy indeed. Both are needed for these crazy times in which we find ourselves. The world at large also underwent a massive shift since I last posted. This will likely be reflected in what I write. Don’t worry, this is not going to become a political blog. (promise, promise) My focus is still very much on lifting out of low energies, but in a way that gives a spiritual nod to current events.  I will remain respectful, but I have no intention of remaining neutral regarding injustice.  We all deserve better than all of this drama.

So, anyway, here we go, folks. See you soon!

“Either this deep desire of mine
will be found on this journey,
or when I get back home!…

…‘If I had known the real way it was,
I would have stopped all the looking around.’

But that knowing depends
on the time spent looking!”

[Rumi, “In Baghdad, Dreaming of Cairo : In Cairo, Dreaming of Baghdad”]


Love and light,

(some things don’t change.) 😉

* note: this quote has a lot of people to which it is attributed, but the credit to Norris is believed to be the most credible; see this link for more details if you’re into that sort of thing.

Photo Credit:  ID 23473938 © Alkestida | Dreamstime.com

The Author

I am a dancing, arrow-flinging yogini from the South, but I live in the Pacific Northwest. I just like to keep things interesting. ;)

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